The world needs mentally healthy Physicians and you need me if that’s not you, yet.
Hi there, I’m Bonni!
I believe that each physician became one to create the change we want to see in the world. But too often we feel stuck and overwhelmed, making work no longer feel meaningful, or even sustainable. I want to change that.
As a coach, I can help you restore your passion for medicine. Because medicine needs physicians like you, people gifted with compassion and a desire to heal.
I’ll provide you with the tools to help you thrive and handle the stressful challenges that come along with practicing medicine. This way, you can go home to your family fully present and energized to spend time with your loved ones.
Let’s start working together. Read my story below:
Here’s my story
In 2015, I hit my ultimate low.
I had just dropped my son off at pre-school like any other day.
But, when I got back to my car I was paralyzed by my feelings of desperation.
I called one of my closest friends and broke down crying. I told her “I don’t know how I can keep doing this. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If I keep doing this, my job is seriously going to kill me”.
My daily overwhelm, exhaustion, and feelings of defeat from work had finally overcome me.
I couldn’t hold it together anymore.
I no longer enjoyed medicine. Actually, I hated it. I wanted to quit.
I wanted to do anything other than what I was doing.
I was miserable and had become resentful of what my job had done to me and the person it had made me.
I was disillusioned, bitter, exhausted, and burnt out.
I no longer enjoyed caring for patients, which was a passion I had initially loved.
The reason I went into medicine was to care for women and make a difference in their lives.
However, my long days at the hospital, my office days with never-ending charting and constantly feeling like I was drowning, weren’t what I had signed up for.
I felt like I would never catch up.
I knew that what I was doing wasn’t working or sustainable. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted, defeated, and powerless, with no hope in sight.
I felt trapped and dreaded each workday and hospital call shift. I wondered how I was going to do this for another 20 years and if I’d ever make it to retirement.
I wondered when my physical and mental health would start to deteriorate from my constant stress.
I knew if something didn’t change NOW, I was in trouble.
But I couldn’t just walk away from my career as it was a major contributor to our family’s household income. With my physician income, we had moved to a more affluent area and had become accustomed to a physician lifestyle that had a high cost that came with it. I didn’t have any other way to pay our bills and high mortgage. – I felt trapped.
The benefits that came with a higher physician income weren’t easy to walk away from. I desperately needed another income source that would support our current lifestyle. However, I didn’t feel that I could continue practicing medicine without affecting my health, my relationships, or my outlook on life.
I had no time or energy left for myself, my family or to pursue other passions. I felt so guilty for even considering another path.
Working on myself was my last priority.
I didn’t do any self-care. I didn’t eat or sleep well, and I never exercised. I felt like there was never any time for me. Every day I felt worse. My misery had overflowed into all aspects of my life at home and at work. I had lost my sense of self and my sense of purpose. I had nothing to look forward to anymore.
I kept thinking things would only get better if I was out of my current situation. I kept getting caught up in my head.
I constantly complained about my job, my overflowing inbox, and my never ending charting. I didn’t enjoy caring for patients anymore and I constantly blamed my circumstances instead of coming up with solutions.
I believed there was no way out and that it would be like this forever.
I felt trapped and that there wasn’t anything I could do to change my situation.
Then the pandemic happened. My mind immediately went to fear and scarcity. My thoughts spiraled out of control. I focused on every possible worst case scenario. I worried because I couldn’t see any patients. I couldn’t earn money to help support my family.
I was approaching everything from fear.
I knew that my mind was in a terrible place and that coaching would help me. I remembered how coaching had helped me in the past with my relationships, job and life outlook but I hadn’t kept it up due to my busy work schedule.
So I took a leap of faith and joined a coaching program.
I was surrounded by several women physician coaches who were helping other struggling physicians. They were helping them work on their struggles and each of their unique personal journeys. There were also several women physician entrepreneurs working on inspiring projects outside of medicine. A new world opened up for me! I realized that I had found my people. I knew that if they can do it, so can I.
Introducing coaching into my life and seeing the exciting projects they were doing sparked my hope. I knew that things could get better again.
I started to work on myself and make some big changes that helped me regain my sense of self and even reignite my passion for medicine…
Here’s what I did
I constantly worked on my mind
I was reminded that my thoughts create my feelings and that this ultimately created my world. I realized that I was the one who had control over my thoughts and, therefore, control over how I interpret my world.
I remembered that everyday is a gift and that there are SOOO many AMAZING things that I DID have, instead of focusing on the things that I didn’t have. I paid very close attention to my inner dialogue.
I used to think that I was a victim.
I learned the truth is that I have so much power ALREADY within me, to give me the life that I desire NOW!
Using the coaching tools I learned helped me to see my life from a different perspective and was life changing for me. I trained myself through repetition, to pay close attention to my inner dialogue.
I learned that we’re often hypnotized by the thoughts that we tell ourselves over and over again, even when they’re usually not true.
I now know that I have control over my thoughts which determine my feelings and my actions. I’ve learned that this will ultimately determine the quality of my life.
I learned to be more present
I learned that it’s actually not about the hustle that I always thought was necessary to ultimately have the “ideal life with my family WHEN I retire”.
Now that I consistently work on being present in my relationships, they’ve absolutely changed for the better. When I focused more on showing others that I was truly there for them and cared about what they had to say and what they were doing, my relationships transformed.
I finally realized that life is not about WHEN I think something is supposed to happen in the future, but life is really all about NOW.
Over the years, I’ve always worked hard to be the best physician I could be to my patients. To me, this meant putting all of my time and energy into work. My goal was to always spend enough time with my patients so that they felt heard and got the best care possible. It meant getting my charts done, reviewing labs, and returning patient phone calls in a timely manner.
This contributed to my burnout and left little or no time to enjoy with my family.
I justified it by telling myself and them that it would all be worth it one day. One day, I’d be able to retire and reap the benefits of all of my hard work. We’d finally get to spend time together and travel and do all of the things we loved!
The “Arrival Fallacy”, the thought that everything will be better when I get to another place, really took over my mindset. However, a few unexpected deaths of loved ones helped me to realize that life isn’t guaranteed.
We only have one life and our purpose in this life is to focus on the NOW. Life is about our journey and not about our destination. Once I refocused my priorities, I realized that I can be a great doctor and still focus on my family. Now, I appreciate all the little moments with my family so much more. I live fully for now and my experiences and relationships have been transformed.
I started doing more mindfulness and started to meditate
Even 10 minutes a day of quieting my mind was so helpful.
During and after my meditation, I felt an inner calm that was so comforting. A calm that I had never felt before. I felt that I was finally at peace. Instead of focusing on all of my external stimuli which constantly reminded me of my numerous unfinished projects, my never ending to-do list, my unread emails and unfinished charts, etc., I started to focus on myself. I was finally able to look at my world from a different, calmer place.
Coming from a calmer mind helped me to see my world from a different perspective and motivated me to do more for myself!
I also started to move every dAy!
Even if I didn’t have time to do a 30-minute walk, I knew I could do a 10-minute walk.
This was so helpful! I was able to leave my all-or-nothing perfectionist tendencies behind. I realized that even tiny changes every day would help me to feel better, and I did! Daily movement increased my blood flow, my energy levels and improved my mood! This overflowed into all aspects of my life!
With a calmer mind, I was able to prioritize better.
I started to really focus on time management. From my new perspective, I was able to complete my charting for my patients’ visits before going home! I was no longer working on charts late at night or paying a high fee to an external scribe to finish what I previously was unable to do on my own. This improved my financial situation and dramatically improved the quality of my time with my family!
I laughed more often
Working in medicine with its increasing demands, wore on my personality…..and it wasn’t for the better.
I was more serious and more critical of myself and others.
With my new perspective after coaching, I was reminded that my perception of my life is up to me!
I decided to not dwell on my bad days like before. I decided to be lighter and silly with my son and husband.
I decided to not take everything so seriously. To lighten up and laugh more! Changing these habits takes practice but they’re worth it! My new life with my family is worth it.
I’ve learned to focus more on love
Everything’s better when I come from a place of love. It sounds cheesy but it’s true! It’s helped me to see others’ perspectives better and has reminded me that I don’t always need to be right or win every disagreement.
I have more patience and understanding for others.
Since I’ve changed my perspective, my life has improved dramatically. My relationships have gotten deeper and my annoyances resolve quicker. Also, my gratitude for friends and family and my life and surroundings has grown exponentially. Seeing my life from this lens has been life-changing.
My relationship with my husband changed dramatically once he felt that he was my priority. Our relationship has gone to a whole new level. Of course, we have our ups and downs, but now that he feels more valued, we’re able to get past our disagreements quicker.
There’s more passion in our relationship! The ripple effect of these changes resulted in us treating each other with more loving kindness and respect.
We enjoy spending time together again!
My outlook on life is lighter.
I’m having more fun.
I’m more hopeful and excited for the future.
I’m more fulfilled and efficient at work.
I’m having more quality time at home.
I’m more present with my family and all of my relationships.
I feel lighter and more open now that I’ve realized there are so many possibilities available to me.
I no longer feel trapped.
I know that I have everything already within me to create the life I want and desire.
and so can you!
I now feel free, happy, and grateful.
I overcame my burnout by implementing small changes daily.
I didn’t overwhelm myself by stressing over the never ending task list I needed to complete to make my life perfect. My past self, repeatedly tried to do everything but ended up doing nothing. Instead, I focused on small daily changes that were achievable as opposed to massive sweeping changes that seemed unsurmountable. Instead of criticizing myself for everything I hadn’t done, I celebrated my smaller wins which ultimately added up to bigger wins.
Most importantly, I focused on my thoughts.
Coaching has taught me that my thoughts create my world. To realize that my life wasn’t determined by my external circumstances, but instead by my thoughts, was life-changing. I was able to change the quality of my life simply by changing my thoughts, which were in my control.
This was mind-blowing and liberating!
Our minds continuously try to protect us by presenting us with worst case scenarios.
This is what a normal brain does….but awareness is the first step. My new outlook and practicing these skills has given me a new lease on life. To know that I have more control over my life than I had ever thought was possible has been cathartic, to say the least.
She helped me to reach new heights in my life and to succeed at long-standing personal goals.
I help burnt out women physicians…
Find joy in life again, and live life with purpose and spiritual alignment so they can create the life they deserve on their terms.
Unlike larger, less personalized programs focused on stress management, I provide a personal and safe space to connect and teach you ways to manage your mind, take action, and create lasting change to get the results you want in your life.
Ready to defeat burnout and
live your best life in medicine?
Tell me about yourself. Let's determine a plan of action to recover from burnout now. This will be your first step towards feeling better and living life on your terms again!
Book your free 30-minute strategy session where we'll discuss how to get you out of burnout and closer to living life on your terms.
We'll get started with your coaching. You'll learn techniques and insights to help you defeat burnout and renew your passion for life and medicine again!
I’m a wife, a mom to an 11 year old son, a Board Certified OB-GYN, and a Certified Life Coach! I grew up in Southern California and received my undergraduate degree in La Jolla at UCSD. I later graduated from medical school at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio and returned to Los Angeles where I completed my OB-GYN Residency at USC.
I moved to San Francisco for a fresh start after residency to join a private practice in 2001. That’s where I met my Irish husband in 2006 at a cheesy Irish bar and we’ve been together ever since! I love traveling, going on walks, camping, and enjoying nature with my friends and our kids. Anywhere that’s warm with an ocean view is my happy place. I also love listening to podcasts and a wide genre of music, singing in my car, binging on personal development, and spending time with my family and our dog, Mila.